Blur

Distant voices arguing in the background.

Why can’t I hear what they are saying?

The light seems brighter than usual.

Why is everything slow, yet fast at the same time?

Why do I feel like I am floating through this?

Nothing makes sense!

What am I even doing here?

My heart. It’s beating really fast. It’s getting heavier.

My breathing… It’s getting harder to breathe air.

Air.

Why can’t I breathe?

Why does it feel like someone’s choking me?

Concentrate.

Focus.

Take another deep breathe.

I am screaming inside.

The pain – unbearable.

Why can’t anyone hear me?

Hello?

I’m sinking quick in my fears and insecurities.

This is that moment.

Will someone save me?

Does anyone know?

They cannot find out.

I am running now.

Nearest washroom.
Inside the booth. Doors locked.

Deep breath.

Silent scream.

More silent screams.

Then crying.

Uncontrollable sadness and deep grief.

Tears roll-down. My heart aches. Every inch of my body feels drained and consumed by this.

I feel shaken. I feel numb.

Then chaos and confusion.

What was I crying for in the first place? I am not good enough.

The world says, it’s going to be fine.

There’s a secret I need to share.
This was just one of the many panic attacks.