Healing

It had been ages since they met. Two best friends from college catching up after life took them to different countries and continents.

“It’s been so long! I missed you so much!”

“I’m glad we are FINALLY getting to meet.”

“It’s much better than all the long-distance chats….” turns to the waiter…”I’ll have a cold coffee.”

“A cappuccino for me please. Thank you.”

“So how are doing? I know you have been travelling all over the world. So many adventures! I can’t stop seeing your Instagram for all the amazing things you have been upto.”

“Ah! Instagram doesn’t tell you about all the heart-breaks…”

“I did feel that maybe you were running away from all that had happened. How are you holding up?”

“I’m ok. It’s been two years now. He’s moved on.”

“Have you?”

“I’m travelling.”

“That’s not the same as moving on.”

“Well, I can ask you the same question, right? Are you happy?”

“I don’t have to pretend with you do I? It gets rather exhausting. To be someone you are not… To continue living that lie. Every single day. I’m not as brave as you to walk away. I’m scared of being lonely, unloved and rejected. If I were to be my true self, I’m not sure if I’ll be accepted. I tried to stand up but… so many people. What will they say? I can’t just walk away from all this… It’s easier said than done.”

“We all have our own little misery to give us company don’t we? I travelled so much the last two years, met so many people, experienced so many cultures…. and yet at the end of a long day, there I was… in my bed… still stuck in that moment. No amount of time or distance could heal that massive hole in my heart. I would keep asking myself what was it that was holding me back? I still don’t know the answer.”

“Looks like we have both been stuck in very different ways in our lives.”

“Do you think we can ever be truly happy or even truly ourselves? Without this burden of expectation of who we are supposed to be or how we are supposed to behave? Is it possible?”

“Sometimes I wonder do I even know myself well enough to answer that question. Somewhere down the line, I’ve just lost myself… the person you knew and turned into this version of me I don’t even recognize anymore. I’m still in there somewhere but I don’t really know if it is the true me.”

“Maybe we are asking thee wrong questions. maybe life was never supposed to be about finding happiness, right? What if it was always about just finding yourself?”

“Wasn’t there something we read on that… the greatest journey one can take is the journey within? I can’t remember who said it though.”

“Does it matter who said it? Must be someone from a different time who is no longer around. A dead poet.”

“Sometimes I feel we are all a little dead inside. Full of pain, fear, hurt and suffering…”

“Well, we are also full of life so somewhere there is hope… to find oneself… to heal…”